In the meantime, I am reading a book called Hannah's Hope. It is really really really good. I'm only on chapter 5 or so but am already planning to re-read it when I'm finished. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone experiencing infertility, adoption loss, miscarriage, AND/OR anyone that loves someone that is going through any of these things. At the end of each chapter, there is a paragraph titled "Burden Bearers" and it's suggestions for a friend, pastor, or family member who desires to help someone else through this valley. I love this because it offers tips on how to best minister to someone going through these trials. My Mama has ordered hers :)
Here is the link to amazon if you would like to order or see more of what the book is about:
http://www.amazon.com/Hannahs-Hope-Infertility-Miscarriage-Adoption/dp/1576836541
I wanted to share (mainly, take notes for my own reference) some things that have stood out so far:
--"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." Robert Frost
--"While it was indeed a road less traveled, this winding way of childlessness was one I did not choose to tread. I often limped along this uphill trail, kicking and fighting my way through the dense underbrush of discouragement. But through the journey {my word for my situation-- reason why I am obsessed with campers}, God provided green pastures where my aching soul could draw comfort from the recognition that my loving heavenly Father approved the course before allowing me to take my first step."
--"With my course on this less-frequented path plotted against my will, there was one fork in the road that did require my decision: Would I choose bitterness and self-destruction, or growth and renewed hope? The seemingly easier path was anger with God, but I needed to choose the trail that would truly make all the difference. In slowly finding kinship with Hannah (story found in 1 Samuel 1-2), I have realized that my fertility challenges need not destroy me. Intense anger and bitterness have been replaced by a peace that comes only from God."
--"When I shift my focus from my human inabilities and infertility and seek God's strength to surmount fertility challenges according to His guidance, hope is rekindled."
LET ME ADD-- I personally approach this fork in the road everyday, sometimes multiple times a day when different situations arise. It's not like- oh I already chose to trust God and have joy and am happy and life is great. It comes like a rushing wind and can completely knock you off balance and focus. It's daily. It's moment by moment that I stand at the fork in the road. I don't always make the right, choice, honestly.
--A look through Scripture (Hannah's family tree):
--"Infertility took center stage in God's account of history as the establishment and continuation of the Israelites seemed to be in question.
--"Abraham was 100 years old and Sarah was 90 years old when their child of promise was finally born (Genesis 17:17)."
--"Isaac, in turn, prayed for his barren wife, Rebekah, before God placed twins within her womb (Genesis 25:21)."
--"One of those boys, Jacob, also went on to taste fertility challenges. While he had 12 sons, only 2 came from his beloved wife, Rachel, who struggled through years of infertility, both "primary" (never giving live birth) and "secondary" (unable to conceive or carry to live birth after at least one prior successful pregnancy)."
--"I've wondered if Rachel's first son, Joseph, might also have battled to become a father. The Bible records only 2 sons for him, something rare in an age without birth control, when a large family was a sign of prestige. When this beloved son of Jacob chose to name his second son Ephraim, he pronounced, 'It is because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering' (Genesis 41:52)."
--"I find it ironic that Hannah's story, perhaps the most famous infertility story in history, is staged in the hill country of Ephraim, the land of the "twice fruitful."
--"What I can relate to are many of Hannah's dreams: the desire to feel a tiny hand holding her own. The knowledge that the love expressed through her touch might bring more healing to a fevered body or a broken heart than any herb she might give. The longing to hear "Mommy, I love you" whispered in her ears, with that same voice shouting out praise songs to the Lord, delightfully off key, bringing just as much joy to her heart. The desire to be the one person who could make thins "all better" for her children when the world was painful or unfair, She yearned for the taste of sweet, slobbery kissed planted on her lips in childish abandon. She longed for a family to call her own."
IT'S AS IF SHE TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT FROM MY HEART. This makes me know- all of us hurt the same way. Even in Bible times. It's real. If this is you, share with someone. Talk to me.
An excerpt from another book mentioned, The Ache for a Child by Debra Bridwell:
"God had the desire to create new life; and He wanted to create it in His own image. If He, being perfect and complete had this desire to create, how could it be selfish or wrong? And because He created us in His image, with many of his attributes, it should come as no surprise that we share His desire to create. If we yearn to take part in the miracle of creating a new life "in our image" with attributes like our own, and want the intimacy of nurturing our child to maturity, that is only natural. This yearning is God-given and a part of how we are created. It's no wonder that we can feel jarred and confused when we are unable to fulfill it."
All of this is from chapter 1. Wow that was a lot.
Love,
Megan
